


I don't want heaven, I just want you.

by KaytheJay



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:27:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21646753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaytheJay/pseuds/KaytheJay
Summary: Dan dies and goes to hell, but what he finds is not what he expected.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	I don't want heaven, I just want you.

Dan looked around the dark pit he’d found himself in. He didn’t know where he was or how he got there. All he could do is look around in horror. Out of nowhere, the room changed to being like an ordinary office. He shook his head. Ok, so I’m dreaming, he thought to himself. A man appeared in the chair. A very familiar man.  
“Phil?” Dan exclaimed. There was something deep inside of him that made him feel like Phil shouldn’t be there. Like something . . . bigger should have been there. Dan could only stare.  
“Now, I’m sure you have some questions about everything,” Phil said. “How you died, what you did to end up here.” Phil shrugged. “But we’ll get to that. But I may as well give you this offer, just like I gave to everyone else. There is a way to get out of here-”  
“What do you mean how I died?” Dan demanded. “I’m fine.” Phil laughed, but it was unlike anything Phil had ever laughed like before. It sounded . . . demonic.  
“Oh you sweet summer child,” Phil said. “Of course you’re dead. Why do you think you’re in Hell right now?” Dan shook his head in disbelief. “Do you really not know who I am?” Dan shook his head. This was not his life-long best friend. This was not the person he’d grown to love over the years. This was not his Phil Lester. Phil let out another demonic laugh. “Of course I am Phil,” the entity said. “But that is not the only name you know me as.” Phil wiggled his eyebrows, waiting for Dan to get it. He sighed when Dan didn’t. “I’m Satan, you buffoon. You know? Hail Satan sort of Satan?”  
“Now I know I’m dreaming,” Dan said. “The Phil that I know, well, he could never be Satan. He wouldn’t even swear on his YouTube channel. Mate, you’re playing games if you think that I’m going to believe that you’re my Phil. Just wake me up and let me go back to peacefully sleeping.” Phil shook his head.  
“I can’t do that. Your time ran out and now you’re here with me. Forever. Unless you want to take it up with the loophole in the-”  
“No no. Shut up. Just let me live out this nightmare in peace.” Dan closed his eyes. “And when I open my eyes I will be awake and in my own bed.” When Dan opened his eyes, he was, in fact in his own bedroom, but something felt . . . off about it. He couldn’t put his finger on what exactly was wrong with it though. Something just didn’t fit.  
“Surprise,” Phil said, waltzing into the room. “You’re in Hell, motherfucker. Just admit it.” Horns now came out of Phil’s forehead. “You were a shitty person who even went as far as to befriend the Devil. You lived with Satan for fifty years. Dude. Get your life sorted.”  
“Alright, riddle me this,” Dan said. “If I’m in Hell, like you keep saying that I am, where is everyone else? Hell was not made just for me, I assure you. There are way worse people than me who have existed. Even if I did manage to befriend the Devil.” Phil sighed.  
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. There’s a loophole that allows even the worst of people to make it into heaven. I can tell it to you if you so wish because I know that Hell isn’t the ideal place to spend eternity. Hell, I went to Earth for a few years to live out a life with you just so I didn’t have to spend all my time here. It isn’t the greatest for spending time.” Dan looked around the room. He figured out why something was off. It was like a drawing. Not a bad one either, one that a person could mistake for a photograph if they didn’t look close enough. But every detail was perfect. Right down to how his mattress felt against his body.  
“If this is Hell,” Dan started again, “And you’re really my best friend-well- why would I want to leave this place. It already has everything that I need. And you’re the ruler of this place.” Dan shook his head. “Now I don’t know much about the politics of Heaven and Hell, but that’s pretty sweet. And if you can recreate this,” he motioned around the room, “Why don’t you just make the whole place better for yourself.” Phil sighed.  
“Well, without anyone here, it just doesn’t seem worth it. I’ve got no one to torchure, nothing to do. Nothing but sit here and wait for someone to decide to go away from the loophole.” Dan smiled.  
“Well, for starters, stop telling people that there is a loophole. Don’t even imply that there is one.” Dan shrugged. “I think that’s your first problem.” Phil sat down on the floor and the room melted away, seeping right back into the black pit Dan had originally been in.  
“I haven’t told everyone,” Phil said. “One person figured it out and news got around and suddenly everyone from all of time is gone. But I do care about you. A lot. So I wanted you to know about it. Because I love you. And you deserve better than this,” Phil motioned around the room.  
“I don’t want heaven,” Dan said. “Not if you’re not there. Not really. It would be ok, but it really wouldn’t be worth it.” Dan paused for a moment to think about what he was really getting himself into. He shook his head. “I don’t want heaven,” he said again, “I just want you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hits and kudos mean the world to me. Comments fuel me into next week.   
> Find me on Tumblr @lesbaphannie


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